The Nonreader’s Guide to Dealing with a Booklover

Booklovers are a particular type of people. We may seem complicated if you don’t understand the way we think, so here are a few tips for dealing with the booklover in your life.


• Never interrupt a booklover when they’re reading. If you are feeling daring and absolutely must interrupt them, enter their space slowly and wait for them to find a stopping point in their book. Fair warning, it won’t be pretty.


 Don’t dog-ear the pages of their books. It’s an insult not only to them, but to the characters in the books they love.


 By no means should you ever comment on the fictitiousness of the characters in their books. To the booklover, they are friends- friends they will defend to the end and you will lose.


 If for some reason you have already read the book the booklover is reading, never ever give away anything about it. If you do, you are very nearly forfeiting your right to live.


 If you borrow a book from the booklover, always give it back to them in just as pristine condition as you’d first received it. Otherwise you may have to buy them a new one to set your friendship straight once more.


 If you lose one of their books, you’ll never get away with it. The booklover will always know. Always. So own up to it and buy them a new one. It might help if it’s even nicer than the one they lent you.


 Never lend out a book that a booklover had originally lent you. If you do, you will most likely get hurt.


 Do not mark or draw on any part of any book the booklover lends you. To them, it would be like tagging on the Mona Lisa. It’s just not done. It’s hard enough for the booklover to watch others write in their own books, so never do it to theirs.


 Booklovers are emotional over characters and their deaths. Either hold them as they cry. Or run. {It will be pretty easy to tell which one is necessary.}


 When a booklover offers their book to you to read, do not tell them you’ve seen the movie and act like it’s the same thing. It’s not the same. Simply politely tell them that, no, you have no yet read it, and leave it at that.


 Don’t ask a booklover what their favorite book is. You will most likely cause them to nearly explode in indecision.


 If the booklover tells you they’re tired from staying up late reading, do not tell them they should have “just stopped reading.” It’s just not possible and they won’t thank you for your less-than-welcome commentary.


 If you want to buy the booklover a gift and you’re on a tight budget, buy them a {or several} bookmark{s}. Bookmarks make them happy, and they can never have enough of them.


 If you want to buy the booklover the perfect gift, buy them a gift card to their favorite book store. The booklover can be very picky about the books they let into their life, so giving them a gift card allows them to choose the book themselves while not having to pay for it. They will absolutely love it.


 If you accompany them to spend that gift card, don’t feel bad if you’re completely ignored. The booklover is very nearly in heaven when it comes to being in a bookstore and deciding on a new book to own. They appreciate them all, and therefore you may be overlooked during this process.

But in the end, they will remember they own the book because of you and will be grateful.


Hopefully now, you will feel a little more armed with knowledge in dealing with a booklover. Good luck!




Filed under Fun to Know, Tiffany's Life

2 responses to “The Nonreader’s Guide to Dealing with a Booklover

  1. I know this marks me a heretic here, but I dog-ear my book pages. I always lose bookmarks faster than I can use them.

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